I too need to vent

I found out my husband had given
me HPV when the results of my Pap disclosed I had several strains. I
was devastated to say the least. We divorced when I was 36 and didn't
date for 4 years because of the shame I felt about having the STD and
not wanting to disclose it to a potential lover. I finally did start
dating. but found that most of the men just didn't wanna deal with it
once I told them I had the STD. Today. again I lost another man when
he wanted to stay just friends after I disclosed it to him. I don't
know if I can blame them. because I would probably be apprehensive
about sleeping with someone with an STD. That may come from my
ignorance on the disease. part of my denial I suppose.
I had a recent outbreak of warts. and had them surgically
removed and treat any new warts with silver sulfadine ointment. I've
had 1/2 of my cervix removed. Everytime I go through these procedures.
I get deeper and deeper in depression and the self-loathing and
external hatred becomes worse. I have been crying all day.
Am I stuck with a life of celibacy? Do I not say anything and hate
myself forever for not being honest with a lover? I
always use protection. but I don't know if receiving oral sex will
expose my lover. Is this something that can last my lifetime? If anyone can give me any insite or direct me to any sites that may
help I would greatly appreciate it. Seems this is gonna be my
counselling for now. as I am unemployed and have no medical insurance.

contact dr. christopher scipio who has posted a message on this board.
he is a naturopath in canada with a holistic protocol and a sliding
scale and a cyber clinic. i've emailed with him and he's great. it's
the post with the poem about herpes. (feb. 7) his sites are at the
bottom.
lots of luck to you. i'm a newbie. :)
ps also a fantastic natural health website for nutritional support
which will support your immune system and emotions is www.mercola.com
best.